Went to a meeting tonight

So, I’ve been clean and sober for quite some time and have not been to any meetings. for the fear of being around people that may relapse in the future because I was scared that I might go with them. I was not secure enough in my recovery to attempt to be around other people in recovery. So tonight i sucked it up and sat through a meeting. One I feel like maybe I needed. It humbled me, brought me back to day one. The topic was Denial and was a good one. I chose not to speak because I was the new comer. So sit down and shut up the old timers would say. I just listened it was good for me and reminded me where I’ve been and where I never want to go again. I seen people I was in the problem with and are now doing really well for themselves. I also needed that. To know my harm did not leave a lasting imprint on their lives. I go to sleep tonight with a sound mind. One of someone who knows that I never want to drink or drug again. I want better for my future and will continue to work in the direction of that. Going to this meeting reminded me of the days I took my boys to them. I miss them so much. I loved sitting in the meeting with a woman with her son. Him so young he will never remember mommy as she was in the problem but now in the solution. I thank God for every moment he gives me while showing me the path he has laid for me. I pray one day I can have my sons with me and know that I am no longer that mommy those chose that lifestyle over them and knows where she went wrong.